Choosing the future

I just sent out a message confirming that I will be working aa a strategic analyst in Accenture from next fall. (Depends on if I can get a scholarship for my Masters)

My job hunting started unintentionally.
I am a challenger and I do not like excluding opportunities.
so when my friend told me that there is a career fair in LA, when I was in SF, I went out of curiosity.
I knew I had a strong CV, so I did expect getting job offers, but I was 100% sure I would not consider them seriously.
I was sure there is no job out there that would interest me and not for a second I doubted that I would go straight to Masters.
well, never say never.

The profession of a consultant captured my heart. I do not come from a wealthy family and I wanted a well-paid job, but because of my personality I would never be able to work for a job that I do not like.
Consulting had it both.

Then, trying different consulting farms began.
Deloitte, KPMG, Accenture made me job offers. BCG invited me for an internship which is the last stage of selection, and everyone was sure I would get it, but they did not make an offer. Bain turned me down at the last round, too. Maybe because I was talking too much about protecting the environment.
Every single company kept telling me that McKinsey is where I belong, but they turned me down after a case interview (for which they made me wake up at 5:30 because of the time difference)
One Japanese IT Start-up offered me to start their branch in Europe, but I am turning it down because I feel the need to train myself first.

Ultimately, I know my place is in International Organizations, negotiating, mitigating and arbitrating.
And I am doubting my decision because

So why Accenture?
Because they are #1 in IT consulting.
IT is the future and I want to learn more about it. and then use it to propose innovative technology-related solutions in international development.
Maybe their brand value is not as high as that of BCG, but I think I would have chosen Accenture even having an offer from BCG and maybe they knew it. It just hurts my pride because it would have been cooler to say that I turned down BCG.
But together with my mentor, who had been stolen from BCG by Accenture, we will take Accenture to the top.
They are also heavily investing in strategic Consulting and financial support is crazy in every single aspect of the work.

People say, choose by the people with whom you want to work.
The first impression of Accenture was diligent and boring.
Deloitte was very professional and strict.
KPMG was fun and easy-going.
BCG was professional but superficial,

I have been talking to many people, trying to figure out what is the best choice, but it all comes down to this.
Ultimately, it is you and only who will make the decision.
And it is not about making a right decision, but it is about making your decision right.
This is what I have been doing in my life.
It feels like compromising from times to times, because the decisions you make right are those left after you have been turned down by seemingly great opportunities.
My life has been great so far and I have no means of knowing due to the lack of counterfactuals, but I am quite sure that because I have put all my energy and heart into every single  moment of my life, success that I have earned is much greater than if I would have gotten all these opportunities and worked less.

P.S. I have no idea how consulting companies are recruiting. every single firm that turned me down, told me that I did great in the interview and than sent a refusal message. Maybe I was too good. well, positivism never hurts.

Bullet-prof diet

So for the past 2 weeks, I have been on a 'Bullet-proof diet' developed by a bio-hacker of a Silicon Valley.
He has tested everything on his own body, using latest technology and rationalizing based on science.

In short, his conclusion is,
- drink 2 cups of coffee with 2 tablespoons of grass-fed butter and 2 table spoons of coconut oil
- for lunch and dinner, as much vegetables as possibles + grass-fed meat.
- no dairy products, not many fruits, little carbs for dinner.

I have been following quite well, but then I gained weight.
Close to the end of a book, there is a phrase,
after low-fat, low-carbs diet, it may time for your body to get used to digesting fat (oil/butter), so start with little amounts of fat.

This writer tends to explain everything too long.
I have been putting too much fat, apparently.

And this diet is NOT for college kids.
What do you do, when your friends ask you to eat out?
Should I be like,
sorry, I am on a bullet-proof diet, so I cannot eat any carbs?

Last night, we had a chill gathering at someone's apartment and I had quite some chips.
After that at 3am we went to get McDonalds.
Yes, I did go.
Because, chatting with friends is a great part of our lives.
people with strong friendships live longer btw.

anyway, today my brain worked worse, just like the author warns.
Anyway, I will have to lose this extra kilos I gained thanks to bullet-proof diet.
HOW though...

Future form of journalism

What is the future form of journalism.

Our prof. Marc Sandalow took us to Newseum in Washington DC.

The first stop was Pulitzer Prize Photographs Gallery.
That picture of a naked girl running away from the bombs during the Vietnam War?
That picture where a hunting bird is staring at a starving baby in Africa?
Those are few of the prize-winning pictures.

Having been around the world, I though I knew relatively more.
But
I never knew the end of Apartheid was so brutal in South Africa:
a person was running while his entire body is burning.
I never knew students in Bangkok were so blood-thirsty:
beating up with a chair a dead body hanging from a tree.
I never knew so many shootings have occurred in America.

And
Knowing is not seeing.

Tears were running down my cheeks while looking at all the pain and sufferings around the world.
And those were purifying tears. Tears of compassion.

I have received offers from strategic consulting companies.
but now I am sure that business is not where I belong.
I am not interested in promoting another product that will promote consumerism, increasing inequalities, a service that will double the revenues of a company.

I want to work with these people who are hurt.
where? how?
I will not be a journalist, or a photographer, but as long as I will not lose these feelings of a compassion, I will find a place where I will be of use.

What is Democracy?

What is Democracy?

The scary thing about Trump Administration is that it makes you question your view on democracy.

When we usually talk about democracy, we have in mind a system where voices of the people are reflected in the decision-making (representative democracy serving a publics good; please read my post on public goods). 

And these decisions are to a certain extent pre-determinded, because over the time, what is 'politically correct' has been consolidated.

So when one person starts taking actions that have been considered 'politically incorrect', or actions that do not satisfy half on the population; when that person starts suppressing the opposition, or making up facts to back up his statements, we, who are used to another ways of governing are lost. We do not know how to understand what is happenning.

And slowly, we start to perceive what is happening as a new form of governance

Or we do not?

My other questions are

How will Trum supporters will react if his executive orders will be reversed in a court or not supported by a legislation in the legislature?

How many around the world coming from parliamentary systems understand the characteristics of American presidential regime?

Will protests and media be able to make a difference?

I miss polilitical discussions we had in Sciences Po. It is astonishing how little people talk about politics in the U.S. Yes, even in such period of time. 

And I have not figured out what is it yet, but even when they do talk about politics, there is something distinguishing. Is it the inherent presence of values such as freedom of speech and American supremacy?

For now I will continue sharing my views with my American friends, because I think it is important for them to hear and understand how these events can also be perceived.

Relationships, Careers and a bit of Psychology

Relationships, Careers and a bit of Psychology

Skyped with a good old friend.

We got close only by the end of my 1st and his 2nd year in university. Then for the 3rd year, he left for Hong Kong to do a double degree. J

Just for the record, we have always been friends. You got me.

But then we have kept in touch via Skype for the past two years. 

Honestly, this is impressive. 

This proofs that it does not matter how long you know the person to become close.

It is him that I Skype when nothing else seems to work and it is also him that I Skype when life so good you think it cannot get any better.

We do not text each other often, but every time we talk, we are both sincerely happy to talk to each other. It is a good balance when neither side thinks more about the other.

We now surpassed this phase when we just catch up and tell what is happening in each other's life. Somehow, we don't get to talk about our love lives, our ambitious career plans, and our life philosophies with people we do not know well. 

I have been meeting many interesting people, while flying around the world. It is very inspiring but it also means that you do not get to get too close to anyone because after a week you are in another country. 

I need friends like him. We all do. 

All of my very very close friends are all over the world.

I do not get attached to places anymore, but I do get attached to people.

Thanks to technology, we can stay connected all the time. But this makes it harder to realize that the important thing is not to constantly chat, but to stay connected in hearts.

What is 'public interest'?

What is 'public interest'?

Trump is trying to do politics like he has been doing business.

What is the difference between the two? 
Businesses exist to make profits, but the government is serving public interest.
But businesses for sure can simultaneously serve public interest and not everything the government does serves the interests of the entire population.

What is public good after all?
Maybe it is a good in any form that enables citizens to 'live together'.

Trump is challenging the fundamental notion of our society - data and proof.
He does not drive conclusions objectively, based on the data.
No, on the contrary he has subjective opinion that he needs to back up and he creates a data to do so.
And it is scary because you start to question the value of the data.
It is human nature. We believe in what we want to see.

But, the data is important. 
Politics is part of Social Science. 
let me repeat. Social SCIENCE.
When you say your inauguration was the most attended, you need to compare the numbers with previous ones.
When you authorize a pipeline, at least check the number of jobs it will create in the LONG-TERM (in short term only 50 jobs btw and no one knows from where you got the number 28,000)

Maybe the only way to stand against bullshit is to show the numbers, the data.
But what do you do if the other side does not believe in numbers, does not believe in the same logic that you do?

Manga-Anime game Addiction

Manga-Anime game Addiction

So I am not anime nor manga kind of person. I was told it is a waste of time when I grew up. I am that kind of person who gets disappointed looks from the foreigners because she does not know the names of their fav animes or mangas even though she is Japanese.

Well, there is one iPhone application that is driving me crazy right now.
It's basically a time slip story. A heroine (you) moved back in time when Samurais were fighting each other trying to unify Japan. And you accidentally managed to save the life of the most powerful dude and here starts the romance la la la

I do not want to spend money on apps so I do not, but you can read only 5 short storied for free every day. And you can get them only at 3pm. So now imagine me at my internship staring at the clock and the moment it turned 3 rushing to the bathroom to read the story.
The development is quite slow (so typical for Japanese love stories, it took them nearly 1.5 months of my time to realize that they are in love lol) but somehow the app managed to keep me interested.

Maybe I am craving for Japanese culture, or maybe I just I have not had a long-term boyfriend for too long. I know whom I like, it's just that we do not know when we will meet next time, and we both do not know how to call our relationship.

btw the name of the App is イケメン戦国, there is bunch of other apps with time slip to different time periods in Japanese history.

No one really understands the U.S.

No one really understands the U.S.

This is what I have been feeling since I came to D.C.
The first thing I realized coming to America after the EU was that, you need to treat each State like a separate country. The only difference with the EU is that the EU is not officially a country, while America is.

And today I learned that each county also has their own rules and maybe even each country needs to be considered as an autonomous unit. (probably too small to call each a country) Maybe Trump's words that he is bringing the power from Washington to the people merely signifies going back to founding principles when America became a country from a confederation.

For sure, I studied this all during political institutions class two years ago. But as always application is the most difficult part. I wonder how many people around the world really understand political system of the US.

Probably the most interesting learning experience of interning for International Law Institute is these discussions we have nearly 30-40% of the time, which I do not get to do at Wildlife Conservation Society.

Be careful with online shopping, please.

**Fraud**

Be careful with online shopping, please.

So after inspiring visit to National Gallery and Museum of Natural History, I sit down in front of my computer with this beautiful to do list in front of me.
Then my mom texts me that she has paid $500 for online shopping but still has not received the order. Well, a quick research showed that the website was using the information of another legitimate company. In short, the website from which my mother ordered was illegal.

Then I was calling the banks trying to get back the money. But after several hours it turned out that the account was already frozen, and because that jerk left only $10 before his account got frozen, the anti-fraud laws cannot be applied. 

Basically, there is no way to get back the money.

And here I am, at midnight looking sadly at my unchecked to-do-list.

It's hard to be a caring daughter, when your parents rely on you...

I was planning to write a post about Art that I saw today.
Maybe another time...

Women's March

**Women's March**

As a person who was not raised in the U.S., today's march left me very confused.

The question is: What is democracy? People were chanting 'This is what Democracy looks like'. Yesterday, Trump mentioned 'Returning power from Washington to the people'. Probable, the smartest placard today was the one that was along the lines 'Trump is my president and he will have to obey people's will'.

According to politicsusa.com, it was the biggest 'protest' in the U.S. history, and I am honored to have been part of it and have witnessed it with my own eyes. It was my first march/protest/demonstration, and it was very different from seeing it on the TV.

I was surprised with the creativity of all the messages people had on their placards. 'Fight like a girl', 'Ceci n'est pas in president', 'We will rise', 'Women are wall and Trump will pay'. The most common word was 'pussy', I think I have seen it enough for my entire life...

I was also shocked by the number of people blaming Trump for being Putin's puppet and saying that Putin won the U.S. election. Apparently US-Russia rivalry was much deeply engraved in people's minds than I though. While speakers were saying 'I am unapologetically Muslim-American', I would not have dared mention that I am half-Russian...

Just a random though but maybe the shortcut for less discrimination is to start calling yourself 'American', without any prefixes like Hispanic-, Asian-, Black-, etc. American people seems to have two identities: American, because they were born/raised here, and their ethnic one, depending on where their descendants are from. When I first came to the US, last September, this was what confused me the most and I am still figuring it out to be honest.

My struggle to understand the U.S. continues

P.S. I still cannot believe Climate Change and LGBTQ rights pages have been deleted from the White House website....

Trump Inauguration

**Trump Inauguration**
Some 40 words said and the presidency was transferred from Obama to Trump. So quick.

After long thoughts and discussions, I decided to attend the inauguration ceremony. Because I believe in the need of the dialogue and mutual respect especially when opinions are so divided.

To be honest, inauguration was not quite what I expected. I mentioned respect in a previous post. I might have underestimated the hardness of embracing someone like Trump. It was shocking to hear the booing during the speeches and the atmosphere was traumatizing to be honest. But I am still committed to try to understand.

My friend was saying how Trump is like a (shitty) boyfriend, who will tell you that he will be loving, devoted and faithful, but in 2 years he will forget all the promises and eventually dump you. Trump supporters heard what they wanted to hear, and the speech was powerful to them. But not Trump supporters heard impossible-to-implement/inside-out vision. In one article I read that "Trump might disappoint his strongest supporter, but he has shown he can do better than his worst critics have been predicting." 

Just few thoughts. 'Bringing power from Washington to people' - the point of representative democracy is that people delegate their power to Washington through elections. 'America First' - what about international development aid?

It was a learning experience of directly feeling the atmosphere of Trump Presidency that will understand the future development of the events.

P.S.1 My friend-journalist went to the protests herself, and is saying that the media seems to be blowing up things a lot. Some people were throwing things and there was a burning limousine, but otherwise, people were pretty quiet. Small reportage

P.S.2It literally started to rain the moment Trump started his speech

a movie "In Time"

Watching a movie "In Time" makes you think about the value of time.

(ok, Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfield are just too hot so you should have to watch it anyway)

In the movie, the money is substituted with time. So in order to buy something, you need to give out a certain amount of your time. 5 minutes for a coffee for example.
The country is divided into the zones, from the ghettoes where the maximum amount people can afford is one day, to the rich zones, where people live eternally, having a century on their hand.

What is the main message?

Time is limited. We know this, but we do not really put this in practice.

How many of us realize that there is a lot we can do even in a day? Try writing a "5 minutes diary" and you can feel it yourself!

We think we have a lot of time, but have we truly 'lived' even a day of our lives? How many of us will be able to accept death because they are satisfied with what they have done already?

This being said, in the movie, the system was shattered (but not completely reversed) by giving out time to the poor. Applying it to the real life, what will happen if the rich would give out their money for free to the poor? Will this solve the problem? Maybe these thoughts are partially applicable to international development.

I usually do like to see people being killed in the movies, but the scene where Timberlake finishes up a gang in a second in a super-smart-way was just breathtaking. 

The movie reinforced what I have been thinking about, but it was worth sharing nevertheless.

to go to the inauguration or not?

The question is, to go to the inauguration or not?

Some say it would be a very powerful message to Trump if no one went to the inauguration. But let's face it. That's not gonna happen.

Putting aside my personal political point of view on Trump aside, I will still go for inauguration. Because it is a history. And I want to show respect for the Presidency. My UCDC professor today made it clear that it is different from showing respect for the President.

Please do not misunderstand me. I am not a Trump supporter, but I think I respect Trump. Because if we do not respect him, there is no way he will respect us. I respect him, this is my decision. Does he respect women, Muslim, immigrants, Hispanic, etc. is for him to decide. Creating a hostile environment will only fuel his disrespect towards his critics.

Also, respect can mean many things. In this context, when I say I respect Trump, I mean that I take him as it is. We cannot change our parents, our friends, our boyfriends/girlfriends, and of course we cannot make Trump tolerant and polite and intelligent in one night. So the first step towards a peaceful 4 years is accepting him as it is.

Today, Obama gave his last press conference. Put aside the content, there is one thing that made me happy: the comments on FB. They were so full of love and gratitude and all kinds of positive emotions. A stark contrast with comments on Trump's posts. Those are filled with hatred, anger and envy. Again, this is not about the content, but about the atmosphere that surrounds this posts and the president himself.

So yeah in 30 years, I will be telling my grandchildren that the first inauguration I attended was Trump's.

Sounds insane? maybe.

I have been around over 40 countries but it was coming to Washington DC that made me start a blog.
I was walking to my internship at Wildlife Conservation Society, listening to Brene Brown's TED talk "The power of vulnerability". And I want to start a blog to share how vulnerable I am to show how powerful I am.

Sounds insane? maybe.

I am very emotional. My best friends used make fun of how much I cry. At the same time most of my friends will describe me as one of the strongest and most independent lady. (I did not dare use the word woman)

So the blog will be full of contradictions but who is not full of them. I actually think the more contradictions we embrace, the more interesting we are.

So here is how I got here. I used to be very bad at losing or dealing with situations when things do not go the I want. Well, I still am very bad at it. But I got better. I got better at accepting myself as I am. I do not see any failure as a failure, as long as I learn something from it and as long as this lesson becomes a part of a success. People think this makes me a positive person and maybe they are right. What I realized today is that maybe this makes me vulnerable. But you know what? I like it.

I am very ambitious. I know am and I am not ashamed of it. But at the same time, I am not perfect and I am not ashamed of it either. I like myself, who embraces failures as they come. ok, another example of how weird I am.

Oops, maybe I need a word of introduction. I am in Washington DC as a part of University of California Washington program, interning in International Law Institute as a Program Administrator Intern and in Wildlife Conservation Society as a Federal Legislative Intern.

But I am in UC Davis only for a year as an exchange student. Officially, I am a student of Sciences Po Paris and I will tell you, that it is the best school in the world. Harvard? Oxford? No, no, no, Sciences Po is the best. And it is not Patriotism that is speaking, since I am not French. I am Japanese, I am Russian and I am also a citizen of the world. Confused who I am? Good. I will not reveal my super duper unique background in the first post.

P.S. If you want to listen to a TED talk about vulnerability by Brown, I would rather recommend the one called 'Listening to Shame'. Ok, time to research about World Bank.